about a week since I got the results. Couldn’t cry on the first night but eventually, mourning started. Everything. Every thing in my future seems bleak. Like I would have to settle for a 2nd rate life. I have not made any steps yet towards a decision. I have a default decision, but it pains me so much right now to do anything. Am paralyzed. But I also know that I would not be happy if I didn’t even try again. It hurts so much, so deeply.
I’ve been doing a medical mission up in the mountains and saw the government doctors and thought to myself, I can’t see myself being happy with settling for this forever. I love seeing patients again and being of help. But the politics gets in the way of helping as much as I want.
In between, it’s been a week of exploring and fangirling over the relationship of KB & MB at my other blog, 24/7. Distracting myself from this final decision and bothering ES with my Fangirl messages which she totally understands.